Revisionist History
This was a originally posted with a different title, and then there were comments and suddenly the world was a world of drama. So here I am, reposting it with comments turned off because that's what Vickie wants. I do this not because I want to make her happy and satisfy her every request, but because I fear what she may do when she realizes how easily she can hurt me.

It's unfortunate that because the Internet is so accessible and "open" that content must be guarded or obfuscated behind nicknames. When I first started this blog - well, okay, so technically it was a journal of getting "back in the saddle" of programming - it was a place where I could talk completely openly. I mean, hey, I was a young twenty-something that didn't have much to hide. That truth remains to this day: my life is an open book and I don't have anything to hide. However employers in America are beginning to eye more and more closely the online presence of its employees. A teacher mentioning that they'd gotten drunk at a party could find themselves on 'administrative leave' the next day. I remain a firm believer that what I do in my personal life should not in any way reflect upon my professional life, but I fear the day that I am turned down for a job because of this blog, which, yes, I've finally given up and called it a blog.

That, and I hate emo whining - which, admittedly a goodly portion of the content in my blog is composed of. At least half of the things I've posted can be boiled down to "I miss Vickie Gauck" and "Jesus Christ I'm lonely". Up until 2003 of course, when suddenly the world was bright and happy and I didn't post much because I was too busy bathing in bright and happy bubble bath.

But most importantly is that this blog is my journal. My memory is pretty damned unreliable. I didn't blog much in the first couple months when Vickie and I first got together because it was a new thing and I didn't want to say anything until it was more stable and blah blah blah - what I've got now is scattered memories of the things we did together in those first few months when we were dating and the relationship was very new. I regret that. There is so much that has happened in the past few months that I will soon forget unless I note them here. So, I'll try to keep the emo to a minimum, but some things must be said.

Vickie has "met someone". She told me last Tuesday. I cannot fully articulate how much this hurt me; it was one of the few things I asked of her, just wait until we're divorced, and she couldn't afford me even that bit of respect, leaving me with the regret that cannot be written. It was the one thing that I couldn't forgive, couldn't overlook, and I think it'll be quite some time before the full price of this "opportunity" will be tallied. Things have changed significantly.

Thanksgiving? Not so much. The closest we (myself, my brother and my father) got to Thanksgiving this year was going to a Thai food restaurant with the Byrds. It was a late start to the festivities which kept poor Elizabeth up past her bedtime and that's one little girl that you do not keep from her napping (I'm an old hand at handling that particular task). And that was the day before Thanksgiving. Turkey Day itself was spent getting up earlier than anyone wanted to and helping Dad move his stuff out of the house and into a UHaul, then hauling said stuff to Columbus to be unloaded. And just saying "Columbus" doesn't really convey how far this was, because it was actually north of Columbus and in Amish Country. No, I mean that 100% literally, you had to keep your eyes peeled at night or you might hit a horse and buggy. There isn't anything more than a two-lane road for over 60 miles.

I'm sure the furniture is nice though.

Also in the world of "moving your shit", Kevin and Kristina are moving out this week. Their new apartment opens up in a few days and they'll spend next week moving in. There's not a lot to say about the complex itself, but the fact that it's within a four minute drive of both of their jobs can be a significant factor in its selection. Beats the hell out of my daily 35-minute commute. And, if it's not said in person, at least it's said here: Thank you, Kevin and Kristina, for helping me out through the past few months, both financially and emotionally.

And, hey! While we're talking about moving, I went out last night and got the keys to my new home which I'll be making the transition to in the next couple weeks. Jon Huber has found himself in the same boat as me. I'll keep the description of that boat to a minimum; suffice to say, it is the word of the day. So when he began plans to separate his life and find a house I was on his short list of people he could tolerate living with. With the Byrds moving out I would be hard pressed to keep the place I'm living at now, so this works out fairly well. We had our first look inside the place last night, and while I can't stand the location (cookie-cutter subdivisions are a scourge upon humanity!) the house itself is great. For the first time I was looking at a new home not with the eyes of "okay, how can I make this place really cool" but "okay, what do I need to do to make this safe and fun for Elizabeth". She'll have her own bedroom right across the hallway from me, the backyard is fenced in. Oh sweat merciful Christ, Thank You, there will be city-provided, reliable, clean-smelling-without-the-hint-of-ass water! Cable Internet and a dishwasher for the win.

So what else have a been remiss in mentioning? Well, in the first chunk of October I accepted an invitation from Der Wilgers for a visit. They paid for the flight and I spent a few days in Portland with them - I was originally going to bring Elizabeth with me and she would have been seated as "child in lap". Yeah, that might have worked for the first leg of the trip to Minneapolis (only an hour long) - but the extremely cramped three-hour flight from Midwest to West Coast? No. Just, no. Actually, not no, but hell no.

We went to the Pacific Coast, took many pictures and the next day John and I went East into the high desert, did some light climbing and took more pictures. I had a great time out there and it really helped to get my spirits back up. Misty, that salmon may have been one of the best meals I've had in my life. I just wish I hadn't left them with my own malady in the process.

Work schedule changes in a couple weeks so that I'll be off on the weekends. Money's awful tight at the moment because of rent and getting my utilities to hold on a bit longer. At least things are clear. The path in front of me, that is. My steps are steady, sure and deliberate. The manacles lie discarded in my tracks. Who I am and What I am are as indisputable as the high road I tread. I can see the truth of it all, and when the house of cards begins its inevitable collapse you may have my sympathy but only on the condition that the bus runs on schedule.

It's not personal, Sonny. It's just business.