So, it's been about four months since my last update. I've said it before, I think, at the beginning of damned near every post for the past few years, I've been busy, whatever. Especially now with Facebook and Twitter allowing me to just throw up a quick status update, it's hard to gather up the gumption to write more than a few paragraphs – but then I end up with regret that I'd neglected to write and will forget the events that have transpired. And then the regret turns to resentment and I'm not updating just because, and now it's a chore and blah, blah, blah.

So what's been going on in the world of the Q? Well, quite a bit, actually. I've decided to come out of my shell of post-matrimonial depression, slowly and cautiously testing the air before seeing my shadow and ducking away. (Okay, so I think that's a mixed turtle and groundhog metaphor.) It started at the end of September when I had two events lined up. The first was Sasha and Anna's birthday party bash being held at Peecox and then my own 15-Year Class Reunion. While at Peecox I ran into Aimee and Amber Norris and their friend Alison (I'm pretty sure that that household has a stipulation that its inhabitants' names must start with ‘A'). We chatted it up and the next thing I knew we were all going to go see the Dethklok/Mastodon show in Columbus and meeting up again on Thursday for karaoke. Now, since I last wrote here I was actually doing a lot of karaoke singing on Saturday nights at a bar in Fort Mitchell, but they're under new management or something and that fell through, so karaoke on Thursday nights was a welcomed return. To facilitate this Robin would come over and babysit Elizabeth, or more specifically, babysit the baby monitor as she'd already be in bed. ("Hey, I'm just going to be sitting at home on the Internet anyway, so why not do it there," he said.) So lately I can be found at Peecox singing and generally enjoying being alive again. The class reunion was an equally enjoyable event and I saw a lot of folks I hadn't seen in years…. But that's kind of the odd part of it. With the PiQNics happening yearly most of the people I really had a lot of interest in seeing were already annual buddies, but the night was entirely revealing and entertaining.

Jimmy Martin said he was interested in seeing the Dethklok/Mastodon show, so he was grouped up with the trip to Columbus. This was the first concert I'd been to in a couple years and discovered something a bit unsettling about it. You know how after a concert your ears are ringing and it's hard to understand what people are saying? Yeah, that didn't happen to me. The show was loud, and my ears were ringing afterwards, but no more than they do any other day of the year. That's how bad my hearing has become: I live every hour of my life like I'd just gotten out of a concert. Keep that in mind next time I ask you for the third time, "what?"

Friday nights are still spent making music with Wingmen music. We've got about thirty minutes of mostly-completed original music. Our plans for putting on an October show for friends have been dashed with scheduling conflicts and illnesses. Big props to Joe Mattioli for helping us upgrade our equipment. We're loud enough now that earplugs aren't a bad thing to have during practice – but since I'm already half-deaf, does it matter?

The divorce is proceeding. Slowly. I guess. One day I'll get some paperwork to sign, one day after things finally get settled as they're in a constant flux of changing plans and arrangements. I just want it done, I just want this scar tissue lanced. The conversation I'd had with Wilger comes back to me every once in a while, and I remind myself that I need to start taking action, but at the first sign of opposition I fall back into my shell. I would like to start dating again, but I'm just not 100% sure that I'm ready. I guess it's not so much that I want to start dating as much as I don't want to be alone anymore. Solitude is the pits, but I know it's important to go through – when you don't give yourself enough time to 'reset' you just end up in an infatuational rebound relationship and those can't be trusted. But I'm running into this mental mousetrap that's really doing a number on my enthusiasm.

Allow me to paint a picture of how my brain works. Firstly, you need to understand a few things about how I feel about myself. I am egotistical, but despise who I am. I would like to be with someone attractive, but I can't imagine how someone attractive would want to be near me. I want to be with someone smart and someone who engages my mind, but I can't believe that someone with any common sense would be with me. I could really go on and on with a list of ways that my brain shuts me down and kills my confidence. If I meet someone that I'm genuinely attracted to I want them to know that I'm not 'yet-another-barfly' just trying to pick them up so I smother all signs of attraction until I get a clear signal that she's into me – which, of course, plants me squarely in the Friend Zone perpetually.

So that's why I'm rapidly expanding my social agenda – in order to defeat the brain-of-self-loathing and my own little demons that are holding me back. I've tiptoed into the waters and am up to my knees in 'getting out there' – one of these days I'll dive back in. Maybe. I've started having friends come over on Saturday nights now for games or movies (well, movie night never happened, but try-try-again) with a bit of alcohol mixed in for social lubrication. We must, however, remember to keep the undrinking to a minimum. Yes, "undrinking". You know, like, first you drink something and then later you undrink it.

I think I'll bring this to a close now with a picture of the outfit I wore for Halloween – this was by far the best costume I've ever had.